“Does this food give my baby and me nutrients or just calories?”

If your answer is the latter, then eat something else!

The U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) recommends that pregnant women in their second and third trimesters should eat 300 extra calories a day and nursing mothers should add about 500.

It isn’t as much as you might think…

Three hundred extra calories is roughly equal to one cup of whole-milk yogurt plus an apple. Add two slices of whole-wheat bread to that and the total jumps to 500 calories.

For great information about nutrition during pregnancy, read this articlepublished by the University of Rhode Island’s Expanded Food and Nutrition Education Program.

To learn more about children’s nutritional needs, visit the Children’s Nutrition Research Center. Look under “consumer news” and nutrition on the web site. They have a great electronic newsletter that you can sign up for too.

Photo credit: James Gathany/CDC

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For the past 6 months or so I have nursed my son only for his afternoon nap. I was very reluctant to try to completely wean him because I was afraid he would stop napping altogether (his nap lasts a good 2 hours and during this time I get a lot of my work done).

Last week, we unexpectedly weaned. He skipped his nap, and nursing time, on Monday because I had to be away from him in the afternoon. The next day, at nap, I said, “let’s just pretend to nurse”, so he did. He curled up into my arms and pretended to nurse over my shirt. He is familiar with pretending: we often pretend to cook or eat, or pretend to swim, etc. He was surprisingly agreeable to pretend to nurse. After all, I wasn’t saying “no” and we still got to cuddle. But after about 40 minutes of him doing flips and tossing and turning in bed, I gave up trying to get him down that day.

The next day we did the same thing. We pretended to nurse and this time he did fall asleep, after about 30 minutes. I was shocked! I probably shouldn’t have been (kids need to sleep), but for the past two years I (or more accurately, my nipples) have been the only thing to get him to nap. If he was going to wean, I reckoned, then the best way was going to be to spend a few days apart. I never imagined it possible to wean him the way I did.

It has now been almost two weeks. Other than having an engorged breast, things have gone smoothly. He still asks to nurse and I let him (pretend) whenever he wants. He has been asking to pretend nurse more often and I let him–I don’t see the harm. It’s now much easier for my husband, my mother and his babysitter to get him to take a nap, which I am very thankful for.

Ending nursing brings mixed emotions. I am sad because this beautiful part of our relationship has come to an end. And yet it’s a milestone, a necessary and inevitable part of my son growing up.

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I found myself wondering, after reading Tara’s post, Weaning a toddler while pregnant, how many women need advice like this? What percentage of women are still breastfeeding a toddler and what percentage of those toddler nursing moms are willing to endure the pain of nursing, due to sore nipples from pregnancy, in order to continue breastfeeding? I would guess very few.

When my son was nearing a year, friends and family started asking me how long I planned to nurse. They also tried to convince me that my son didn’t need the breastmilk anymore. A very good friend of mine even told me that I had to “cut the cord” and that breastfeeding “had no nutritional value” after a year. The funny thing is that at one point of my life (prior to having a child) I believed that.

It is true that breastmilk comprises less of a baby’s overall diet as it grows and begins to eat a variety of foods, but it is certainly not true that breastmilk loses its nutritional value.

“Breast milk continues to provide substantial amounts of key nutrients well beyond the first year of life, especially protein, fat, and most vitamins.” (Dewey 2001)

Kellymom put out a fantastic fact sheet about the value of

extended breastfeeding, including information on nutritional value, and there is also a list of references if you would like to read the the actual studies.

Now my son is two, and I am breastfeeding once a day, just at nap time. For us, the best way to get down to one nursing session a day was to have my husband take over putting our son to bed, reading him a lot of good books, and always having a sippy cup full of water ready. We also found that just talking to our toddler about when he can and can’t nurse was also very helpful to him.

I would tell him that we were not going to nurse as much any more and that he could nurse at nap time, but not at bed time. So at night when he asked to nurse I would say (in a very upbeat and confident manner) “we already nursed today, you can nurse tomorrow at nap”. He seemed surprisingly agreeable for the most part. Although there were definitely times where it was hard to “stick to my guns” and not nurse him. Occasional tears were shed. The first few days were the toughest.

As a first-time mother, I am also learning the importance of consistency. I tried to night wean several times when he was about one and a half. But I was not always consistent about it. In general, the inconsistencies left him confused and frustrated more than anything. Now I make more of an effort to be consistent and I see that he can adjust much better when I do.

I would like to stop nursing completely soon, although I find it very difficult to just “let go“. I keep changing my mind about whether or not we are ready to completely wean… It has been such a wonderful bond between us. I am also concerned that my son will stop napping altogether if I do wean. He naps 2-3 hours a day and this time has become very precious to me as I am trying to finish my doctorate degree. Friends tell me he will wean when he is ready. I am not so sure- but have vowed to wean when I get pregnant again. Hopefully sooner than later!

Since writing this post I have completely weaned my toddler. Read the “Pretending to nurse… to wean” post here.

Be sure to read the other bloggers posts.

Badass Dad writes about his experience as a breastfeeding father.

Naturemoms Breastfed three children and reviews a book about breastfeeding.

Adventures of Pip and Squeak Breastfeeding an infant and weaning a toddler.

Breastfeeding Mums Reflects on her time as a breastfeeding mother of three.

A mama Knows Breast Deals with a low milk supply.

Motherwear Breastfeeding Blog Gently encourages weaning.

Crunchy Domestic Goddess Inauspicious breastfeeding beginnings.

blog.reidelizabeth Found support in La Leche League, a lactation consultant and family and resisted supplementing her breast milk.

Breastfeeding 123 It’s about weaning during pregnancy.

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Technorati Tags:
home birth, child birth, epidural, caesarian

While watching “The Business of Being Born” film, I found myself feeling defensive of the medical establishment. Much of it was cast in a poor light, and yes, much of it rang true for me. But I don’t believe that obstetricians are all “Cesearean Samurais” anxious to rush women to the operating room.

Unfortunately, similar to the environmental movement, showing the worst problems or scariest issues in order to make a point and get attention on these incredibly important issues can be quite effective. Perhaps very balanced reporting of the issue would be too boring to garner worldwide attention. But the downside is that they (the makers of BOBB and extreme environmentalists) lose credibility; or it may have the opposite of the intended effect: such a one-sided view can make the viewer reject the premises all together, which is pointed out by Slate’s Dana Stevens in a recent review of the film.

Unfortunately, Stevens is so caught up in describing weaknesses of the film (admittedly, there are many), that she doesn’t explore the simple notion that there really might be an institutionalized, growing problem in hospitalized birth.

The increasing rate of c-sections is extremely alarming and well documented. Unfortunately, how your individual birth takes place is largely dependent on the practices of the hospital you are in. If the hospital gives 99% of women epidurals then you would be very naive to think that you’ll be able to “choose” not to get one if that’s what you desire. Or if the hospital has a 40% c-section rate, then realistically, you have a good chance of being pressured to get a c-section. Women in labor are very vulnerable and easily influenced. Do you think a hospital staff would rather a) sit and wait for your natural labor to slowly progress (24+ hour labor is very normal), or b) break your water, give you Pitocin (and then an epidural to deal with the increased pain from the harsher contractions caused by the Pitocin) to get things moving along?

Hospitals will rarely advertse the fact that:

• epidurals don’t always work
• there is sometimes breakthrough pain
• whatever drugs you are getting your baby is also getting
• sometimes it takes several attempts to get the needle in the right place
• you may feel pain in your spine for several months after the birth
• your lower half will be deadened and you may need assistance to get the baby out (by suction, episiotomy, forceps, etc.)
• you may not be able to walk for a brief time after you have the baby
• your labor could stall or temporarily shut down after getting the epidural, which may lead to a c-section.

Having opted for non-medicated birth, I won’t fault anyone for getting an epidural – as long as they fully understand the benefits and risks. That said, I must point out that doctors often make you wait until you are quite dilated before you can even get the epidural, which is good because an epidural can stall labor. But what most people don’t know is that when labor gets to be just about intolerable, you are so close to being finished and holding your baby in your arms! Another benefit of unmedicated birth is that once the baby is born, for the most part you are ready to eat a sandwich, put your clothes back on and hold your baby (and take a Motrin). Of course, every birth and birth experience is individual and unique- so maybe you will just feel like crap.

“Ultimately, the business of being born ain’t nobody’s business but our own.” is Steven’s conclusion, but I doubt that Stevens would draw the same conclusion if she had bothered to scratch the surface of the more complicated issue of hospitalized birth in the United States. Stevens might find comfort in hearing her doctor say something such as “I graduated first in my class at Johns Hopkins,” but most of these new doctors have never witnessed anything close to a non-medicated, non-intervention, vaginal birth–something pointed out in BOBB. Doctorsaren’t in the habit of sitting back and watching as nature takes its course. They are trained to do something. The idea that a woman is quite capable of delivering her child with minimum of intervention is lost. If the staff does not believe in you, it is very difficult to believe in yourself and your body while you’re delirious from labor.

And yes, of course, thank goodness we have the doctors and trained staff there waiting in the wings if something goes wrong. Then I would probably be thrilled to learn that my surgeon graduated top of her class at Johns Hopkins.

[Photo Credit: Paulo Netto]

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For pregnant women, infants, and children, the panel has some concern about effects on the nervous system and behavior, but minimal concern about accelerated puberty. Mostly, the panel thinks more research is needed. The report is now open for comment.

Bisphenol A is the controversial chemical used in many plastic products, including childrens sippy cups. I have written about this before here and here.

Technorati Tags:
breastfeeding, bisphenol A

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=====

Hello Friends,

If you are a woman, are having a baby, thinking someday you might, have had babies and now have a daughter, I think you would enjoy this movie to learn more about birth and well woman care in our culture and it’s future. Or maybe all of them! Or you have a practice where you can spread this news around.

Anyway I wanted to share this great film with you all. It is called The Business of Being Born and it is a documentary that Ricki Lake (yes remember her? weirdoes and makeovers??) made about the culture of birth in our country. Largely inspired by the different birth experiences she had with her two children, one at a hospital and one at home. I was privileged to attend a screening of this film last month, along with a panel discussion that included Ricki Lake (producer/actress) and Abby Epstein (filmmaker) and it was fabulous. It was not all about homebirth or being judgmental about the choices woman make and it is not a film that attacks modern medicine or hospitals. Quite the contrary, it is about educating the modern American woman about her choices for birth in this country. It is about true informed consent being made by educated consumers. And it was beautifully done. You have nothing to lose seeing this movie and everything to gain if it helps you make a more informed decision in your personal health future or that of your daughter, niece, sister…

The movie is yet to be released nationally, that will happen in January in NYC, LA & San Fransciso. In March, it will be released on Netflicks. But you are lucky enough to be invited to a screening in Nyack, NY at the Riverspace Theater on THURSDAY DECEMBER 13th at 7:30PM. Tickets are $10, parent/child tickets are $15.

Please take a look at the website and consider coming out to see this film. I felt as I was watching it like this movie was one small step for woman and one giant step for womankind. Come out and support the sisterhood of woman in this country demanding whole woman care for ourselves and our daughters. I wouldn’t be asking you to come see this movie if I didn’t think it was worth every second of your time, trust me I have a toddler who doesn’t nap I know how precious free time is! So please spread the word, tell your friends, call your aunties, heck even grab your gramma and I hope to see you all in Nyack on the 13th.

Peace to you all,
Tara

All night nursing: Don’t get freaked out if the baby nurses all the time. Newborns nurse 8-12 times a day and sometimes for an hour each time. It’s crazy but it’s normal. Rowan nursed every 20 min the first two weeks, holey crap was I tired! Just try to sleep when the baby sleeps or at least rest. They also nurse more during a growth spurt. So don’t be surprised if he’s waking up 2x a night to feed for like a week then one night he’s up every hour, it’s just his way of increasing your milk for his growth spurt.

Put visitors to work: When people visit they want to be helpful, put them to work with getting you food, cleaning up, doing laundry so that you can rest with the baby. It really helps.

Emotional rollercoaster: Don’t get freaked out if you get really emotional when your milk comes in on day 3 or 4 (I was a train wreck). It is just your hormones changing. It is easier to deal with if you know it’s going to happen. I had no idea and my husband was all, “now tara this can happen when your milk comes in” even though he was telling me that I still felt crazy in my head. Your tired, you feel insane, but know that it will pass. So will the uncomfortable engorged boobs. For that, you can lay on your back and put a cold pack on your chest.

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Plugged duct: This sucked. Your boob gets all hard and it hurts so bad. Try to avoid them by not wearing binding stuff around your breasts. Also feel your breasts after or during feeding and see if there are any hard lumps, if there is try to massage it while feeding. Always massage in a circular motion. Also, if you suspect you have a clog; 1. Soak in a warm tub or just soak your boob in a bowl of warm water, or use a moist heating pad. 2. Get plenty of rest and do the massage thing. 3. Try to feed a lot on the clogged breast and get the baby’s lower jaw where the clog is. 4. Try to “empty” the breast at every feeding. 5. Try putting a cabbage leaf on the clogged area under your bra and just let it wilt there a few hours. I don’t know why but it helps. Don’t use the cabbage leaves too long, they are also used to decrease milk supply

Posture and comfort: Use a footstool and a pillow behind your back so you don’t strain your muscles when you are sitting up. Put a pillow behind your back when you are lying down, and a pillow between your knees too.Fold a baby blanket and lay it across the area between your body and the boppy pillow so the baby doesn’t fall in. once the baby gets bigger you don’t need to do this but in the beginning it helps.Don’t feel silly if you have to set up a whole special place to breastfeed at first. I had a “throne” set up on the couch with pillows every where, the boppy, a footstool… breastfeeding is challenging in the begining, it was for me (still is) and anything you have to do to get it to work is OK.

Alignment: Make sure the baby is aligned right. The ear, shoulder and hip should all be in a row. Both your and the baby’s tummy should be touching. When lying on your side, you don’t want the baby on his back with his head turned toward you; line him up on his side also. This helps the latch and the suck. I had it all wrong in the beginning, getting the alignment right really helped.

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Thanks Tara!
Danish Wool breast pads: Really help to avoid sore nipples or make them feel better. They have 2 kinds, ekstra and regular. The ekstra are double layered if you leak a lot. I do, and even through them! But I found if you just put a disposable one behind the wool one, it catches any leaks. Any other breast pad made my nipples really sore. The lanolin in the wool is what helps with the soreness. It’s the same idea as the stuff in the tube: Lansinoh brand lanolin. Also the wool pads don’t smell bad after they catch the leaks. If you don’t leak they still help with the soreness.

Lansinoh brand lanolin: Make sure if it’s not this brand it’s hypoallergenic and doesn’t have any crap in it and you don’t have to worry about wiping off before feeding the baby. Lather it on in the first weeks, it really helps.

Sleep Bra/Sleep wear: Get a night time sleep bra to hold the pads on or some kind of night gown or shirt that holds pads on. You might be lucky and not leak but you should still have one thing handy for the beginning in case you are. I didn’t get a nursing bra before I had Rowan and it was like sleeping in a water park, I had no way to hold the pads on, it was kind of a mess. Make sure the bra is not too snug. When you are too compressed you can get a plugged duct or a breast infection. Also avoid underwire bras if possible, or limit your time in them. Motherwear has bras that are cheap. And there’s a store in Manhattan that’s good, they measure you and help you find a bra. I personally have been very uncomfortable in my bras and clothes. I have been wearing a zip up sweatshirt and a sleep bra so I am on the hunt for better stuff. I have some v-neck nursing shirts that I can pull aside; these are somewhat comfortable but kind of revealing and do nothing for keeping me warm. If you wear a button or snap shirt you can undo it from the bottom instead of the top so you have more coverage. Most people I know say they just wear regular clothes and pull them up. I don’t like all the shirt under my armpit, I feel like I have an armpit wedgie. Since I wrote that I’ve solved my problem. The best bra I’ve found is by Bravado and Boob Design shirts, they have discreet openings and they keep your chest and stomach warm. The only place to get them in U.S. is at the upper breast side and online at Milkface, a Canadian company. I am much more comfortable now that I have a Bravado bra and Boob shirt.

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Pollution in People is an informative website that has a section on Safer Consumer Products for children and babies. There is a section on baby bottles and sippers where they recommend more alternatives that are not made from polycarbonate plastic, which can leach Bishenol-A:

“Choose bottles made of tempered glass, polypropylene plastic, or polyethylene plastic, such as Evenflo glass or pastel bottles, Gerber opaque bottles, or Medela bottles. Choose sippy cups made of polypropylene or polyethylene, such as Avent Magic Cup, First Years Take & Toss, Gerber Color Change, and Playtex Sipster. “

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