A reliable body of scientific research accruing over decades has given us a clear idea of how to use timeout most effectively. The technique’s full name, “timeout from reinforcement,” provides the key. Timeout has nothing to do with justice, repentance, or authority. Rather, it follows a simple logic: Attention feeds a behavior, and a timeout is nothing more than a brief break from attention in any form—demands, threats, explanations, rewards, hugs … everything.

The article goes on to suggest ways to admisiter the timeout: use it sparingly, keep it brief, and do it calmly, not in anger. Read the rest of the article here.

Our boy is 2 1/2 years old, and we as parents are just getting into this new “disciplining” phase. He received his first timeout last month, in fact. He thought it was a game at first, to sit in a corner and not play with any of his toys or interact with us. After his second one in the same week, he got the idea and protested quite loudly.

We strive to be judicious, fair, patient parents, careful to use prohibition as the last resort, preferring distraction as a way to redirect disobedience or mischief. But some moments call for quick, nonnegotiable orders, ones with consequences. Our son running toward the street, for example, or walking out the front door without waiting for us. During these moments, what we say, goes. There’s no discussion, no redirect. He will have to come to grips, I suppose, to the notion of an Ultimate Authority. His first timeout was a milestone of sorts, and I felt a twinge of sadness. He lost something.

First weaning, and now this. It’s a wonder how most of us ever turn out stable!

-Papá

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