Physicians have known for more than a century that exclusive breast-feeding may be associated with vitamin D deficiency and rickets, and that the condition is easily prevented and treated with inexpensive vitamin drops or cod liver oil. But doctors are reluctant to say anything that might discourage breast-feeding.

Read the full article from the New York Times here.

A friend of mine, a school nurse and an avid holistic care practitioner, recommends Designs for Health’s Vitavescence powdered multi-vitamins for my toddler. You could also try a liquid vitamin supplement from your local health food store.

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For the past 6 months or so I have nursed my son only for his afternoon nap. I was very reluctant to try to completely wean him because I was afraid he would stop napping altogether (his nap lasts a good 2 hours and during this time I get a lot of my work done).

Last week, we unexpectedly weaned. He skipped his nap, and nursing time, on Monday because I had to be away from him in the afternoon. The next day, at nap, I said, “let’s just pretend to nurse”, so he did. He curled up into my arms and pretended to nurse over my shirt. He is familiar with pretending: we often pretend to cook or eat, or pretend to swim, etc. He was surprisingly agreeable to pretend to nurse. After all, I wasn’t saying “no” and we still got to cuddle. But after about 40 minutes of him doing flips and tossing and turning in bed, I gave up trying to get him down that day.

The next day we did the same thing. We pretended to nurse and this time he did fall asleep, after about 30 minutes. I was shocked! I probably shouldn’t have been (kids need to sleep), but for the past two years I (or more accurately, my nipples) have been the only thing to get him to nap. If he was going to wean, I reckoned, then the best way was going to be to spend a few days apart. I never imagined it possible to wean him the way I did.

It has now been almost two weeks. Other than having an engorged breast, things have gone smoothly. He still asks to nurse and I let him (pretend) whenever he wants. He has been asking to pretend nurse more often and I let him–I don’t see the harm. It’s now much easier for my husband, my mother and his babysitter to get him to take a nap, which I am very thankful for.

Ending nursing brings mixed emotions. I am sad because this beautiful part of our relationship has come to an end. And yet it’s a milestone, a necessary and inevitable part of my son growing up.

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I found myself wondering, after reading Tara’s post, Weaning a toddler while pregnant, how many women need advice like this? What percentage of women are still breastfeeding a toddler and what percentage of those toddler nursing moms are willing to endure the pain of nursing, due to sore nipples from pregnancy, in order to continue breastfeeding? I would guess very few.

When my son was nearing a year, friends and family started asking me how long I planned to nurse. They also tried to convince me that my son didn’t need the breastmilk anymore. A very good friend of mine even told me that I had to “cut the cord” and that breastfeeding “had no nutritional value” after a year. The funny thing is that at one point of my life (prior to having a child) I believed that.

It is true that breastmilk comprises less of a baby’s overall diet as it grows and begins to eat a variety of foods, but it is certainly not true that breastmilk loses its nutritional value.

“Breast milk continues to provide substantial amounts of key nutrients well beyond the first year of life, especially protein, fat, and most vitamins.” (Dewey 2001)

Kellymom put out a fantastic fact sheet about the value of

extended breastfeeding, including information on nutritional value, and there is also a list of references if you would like to read the the actual studies.

Now my son is two, and I am breastfeeding once a day, just at nap time. For us, the best way to get down to one nursing session a day was to have my husband take over putting our son to bed, reading him a lot of good books, and always having a sippy cup full of water ready. We also found that just talking to our toddler about when he can and can’t nurse was also very helpful to him.

I would tell him that we were not going to nurse as much any more and that he could nurse at nap time, but not at bed time. So at night when he asked to nurse I would say (in a very upbeat and confident manner) “we already nursed today, you can nurse tomorrow at nap”. He seemed surprisingly agreeable for the most part. Although there were definitely times where it was hard to “stick to my guns” and not nurse him. Occasional tears were shed. The first few days were the toughest.

As a first-time mother, I am also learning the importance of consistency. I tried to night wean several times when he was about one and a half. But I was not always consistent about it. In general, the inconsistencies left him confused and frustrated more than anything. Now I make more of an effort to be consistent and I see that he can adjust much better when I do.

I would like to stop nursing completely soon, although I find it very difficult to just “let go“. I keep changing my mind about whether or not we are ready to completely wean… It has been such a wonderful bond between us. I am also concerned that my son will stop napping altogether if I do wean. He naps 2-3 hours a day and this time has become very precious to me as I am trying to finish my doctorate degree. Friends tell me he will wean when he is ready. I am not so sure- but have vowed to wean when I get pregnant again. Hopefully sooner than later!

Since writing this post I have completely weaned my toddler. Read the “Pretending to nurse… to wean” post here.

Be sure to read the other bloggers posts.

Badass Dad writes about his experience as a breastfeeding father.

Naturemoms Breastfed three children and reviews a book about breastfeeding.

Adventures of Pip and Squeak Breastfeeding an infant and weaning a toddler.

Breastfeeding Mums Reflects on her time as a breastfeeding mother of three.

A mama Knows Breast Deals with a low milk supply.

Motherwear Breastfeeding Blog Gently encourages weaning.

Crunchy Domestic Goddess Inauspicious breastfeeding beginnings.

blog.reidelizabeth Found support in La Leche League, a lactation consultant and family and resisted supplementing her breast milk.

Breastfeeding 123 It’s about weaning during pregnancy.

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I’m 20 weeks pregnant, and am still nursing my son, who turned two last month. The pain is unbelievable! It started almost as soon as I got pregnant, and worsened. At the time I became pregnant, he was still nursing seven to ten times a day–with at least three of those being at night.

The “not sleeping” was really putting my sunny disposition in a bad place. I tried all kinds of tactics to get him to nurse less and it just wasn’t working. Also, he’s not a “sleeper”: nothing in his 25 months of life has put him to sleep except me, the backpack or the car.

What’s a knocked-up girl to do?

He just isn’t ready to stop nursing and I am going to have to take it one day at a time. First, I breathe through the pain of latch. It only lasts about 30 seconds before the intense pain goes away. I try to think about how the pain is still way less painful than the first weeks of nursing and last so much shorter than labor.

During the day and as often as I can I suggest a distraction, if he climbs on my lap out of nowhere and asks for “ma-ma,” I say “How about some water first?” and would hand him his cup, grab a nice long book and would start to read to him. Now, I can tell if he is serious or is just asking out of habit. We’ve been doing this for a while, and his appetite for foods has gotten better and he has become more interested in the things around him.

Night time is still a disaster though. He sleeps either in our bed or his own bed in his room. At first, I would put him to sleep in his room, and then either my husband or I would bring him into our bed to nurse back to sleep when he awoke in the middle of the night. Later, I started nursing him in his own bed when he was only waking 2-3 times a night, and go back to my bed after he fell asleep. But being pregnant, I’m generally exhausted, and I’m tempted to turn the monitor off and pretend he is sleeping, but of course I can’t do that!

But recently, he started sleeping through the night about once a week. It’s getting more and more frequent. I am glad I decided to breathe through the pain, because everything about the way we have parented him these past two years has taught him he’s important and we’re there for him. I didn’t want to cut him off from his one favorite thing in the world: ma-ma.

But I do want and need some sleep. So lately, what I started doing is to go lay down next to him when he wakes in the middle of the night. He’ll say “I would like some ma-ma please” and now I say “We had some ma-ma already” and rub his back. Sometimes he rolls over and goes back to sleep, and sometimes he starts to protest a bit and get a little upset. I test him on this, but I don’t let him get too upset because it will wake him fully. So I suggest he “hold ma-ma.” He likes this solution, he puts his hand on my breast and just holds it. And then falls back to sleep. He did cry and hold it the first few times but it was not the kind of cry where you know something is really wrong. Since I’ve started doing this he is waking up less often during the night.

At first, I did feel a little strange about suggesting he hold my breast, but then I remembered how he and other breastfed babies often “play” with the breast they are not nursing from. And I decided this could be a normal transition. It still gives him the comfort he desires from the exact thing he desires and yet no pain for me. This is how we’ve gotten down to one nursing a day.

And actually, we went 48 hours for the first time ever, the first day in his life he didn’t nurse: Jan. 1, 2008! He fell asleep in the car and didn’t wake up in the transition to his bed. We didn’t nurse again till the next bed time. Now if he happens to ask during the day I say “we’ll have ma ma at night night” and that seems to work ok, he gets it, and I can handle once a day. I don’t know if that’s a “tip” but it’s an experience for sure.

Good luck to you. If you are nursing and pregnant and people are giving you “advice,” know in your heart that you will find the right thing for you and your toddler.

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Hello Friends,

If you are a woman, are having a baby, thinking someday you might, have had babies and now have a daughter, I think you would enjoy this movie to learn more about birth and well woman care in our culture and it’s future. Or maybe all of them! Or you have a practice where you can spread this news around.

Anyway I wanted to share this great film with you all. It is called The Business of Being Born and it is a documentary that Ricki Lake (yes remember her? weirdoes and makeovers??) made about the culture of birth in our country. Largely inspired by the different birth experiences she had with her two children, one at a hospital and one at home. I was privileged to attend a screening of this film last month, along with a panel discussion that included Ricki Lake (producer/actress) and Abby Epstein (filmmaker) and it was fabulous. It was not all about homebirth or being judgmental about the choices woman make and it is not a film that attacks modern medicine or hospitals. Quite the contrary, it is about educating the modern American woman about her choices for birth in this country. It is about true informed consent being made by educated consumers. And it was beautifully done. You have nothing to lose seeing this movie and everything to gain if it helps you make a more informed decision in your personal health future or that of your daughter, niece, sister…

The movie is yet to be released nationally, that will happen in January in NYC, LA & San Fransciso. In March, it will be released on Netflicks. But you are lucky enough to be invited to a screening in Nyack, NY at the Riverspace Theater on THURSDAY DECEMBER 13th at 7:30PM. Tickets are $10, parent/child tickets are $15.

Please take a look at the website and consider coming out to see this film. I felt as I was watching it like this movie was one small step for woman and one giant step for womankind. Come out and support the sisterhood of woman in this country demanding whole woman care for ourselves and our daughters. I wouldn’t be asking you to come see this movie if I didn’t think it was worth every second of your time, trust me I have a toddler who doesn’t nap I know how precious free time is! So please spread the word, tell your friends, call your aunties, heck even grab your gramma and I hope to see you all in Nyack on the 13th.

Peace to you all,
Tara

Here are my thoughts on breastfeeding and sleep…

When our son was an infant he slept in a bassinet next to my husband’s side of the bed. I couldn’t have him too near to me because his every move and squeak would rouse me from my sleep, heart racing. That is, if I was lucky enough to be asleep. For much of the night, I would lay awake, waiting for the next breastfeeding session.

When he grew older, we assembled his crib and placed it at the foot of our bed. He spent a few nights in it, until I read Dr. Sears’s The Baby Sleep Book (see side bar). The book convinced me the best place for my son to sleep was between his parents. Sears makes many convincing arguments as to why your kid should sleep next to you: breastfeeding is more comfortable and easier to do, baby will sleep better, SIDS risk is lower, etc. So I lifted my beautifully sleeping child out of his crib, which we started using to store clothes and blankets.

If I wore earplugs, I could block out his sweet little noises and actually get some sleep. Breastfeeding was easy. He would just fuss a little, find my breast and then we could both go back to sleep. However, it wasn’t until he was 3 months old that I could actually lay down and nurse him. Before that time, we didn’t line up very well, which made it painful to nurse. For the most part, this sleeping arrangement worked out well for us. My husband and I enjoy cuddling up next to him at night, quietly taking turns mimicking the funny things he said during the day. There have been times, however, when the “co-sleeping” arrangement breaks down and none of us get enough rest at night.

We’ve tried to end night nursing a few times with the hopes of all sleeping better, but haven’t yet succeeded. The first time, it took about three nights of our son sleeping only with my husband before he could get himself back to sleep after waking up. He’d cry less and less each time (meanwhile, I had barricaded myself in the second bedroom). I can still feel that joy of waking up one morning, realizing I had slept through the night. “I feel great!” I said to my husband. “Isn’t it wonderful to be you,” he said grumpily, between espressos. The euphoria didn’t last long, however, because the little one fell sick with the flu a week later, and the most comforting thing I could do for him was to nurse on demand. Each time we try to break his night habit, something sets us back—illness, irritability from shots, or teeth breaking through.

Perhaps sleep will come to us when our son graduates to his own room? Who knows. Some people (read: our parents) tell us, “You’ll never get him out of your bed!”

Good thing we bought a king-sized mattress.

For more great posts on this topic, please visit the other carnival participants: www.breastfeedingmums.typepad.com
mamasmagic.blogspot.com
crunchydomesticgoddess.com
www.veggieway.blogspot.com
www.jodimeisner.blogspot.com
www.breastfeeding123.com
thelactivist.blogspot.com

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The Magic Number: Six Weeks is an important amount of time if you are struggling with breastfeeding. Everyone always says it gets so much better after six weeks, they are right. I mean there’s no magic breastfeeding fairy that comes and makes it easy or anything but it gets way better. I could feel it getting better between week 5 and 6, it really did make a difference to know that I had to give it at least six weeks to know how I felt about it. And to breastfeed for six weeks to see if it felt better by then.

Final Word: I’ve now been breastfeeding for 3.5 months and just last week I felt like I got the hang of it. Everyone is different. Hopefully you’ll be a natural and it will be easy for you and you won’t need any of this advice. But, if not, don’t worry. You can do it! And it will get easier!

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Pumping: If you pump breastmilk and you don’t get much milk, don’t worry. Pumping is a learned skill and takes practice. Also, your baby is way more effective then the pump. It took me 11 weeks before I would try pumping. It’s a very different feeling and it took me 8 min to get 2 oz. And my milk supply was very well established and rowan was 14 pounds! So I know the boobs were working. It’s a mental thing too, try relaxing and thinking about the baby. As I write this I am still struggling with pumping. Also, if you are going to pump a lot, get a good pump. You can rent them too. And if your nipples are sore don’t pressure yourself to pump in the first week, your nipples will only get less sore as time goes on.

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All night nursing: Don’t get freaked out if the baby nurses all the time. Newborns nurse 8-12 times a day and sometimes for an hour each time. It’s crazy but it’s normal. Rowan nursed every 20 min the first two weeks, holey crap was I tired! Just try to sleep when the baby sleeps or at least rest. They also nurse more during a growth spurt. So don’t be surprised if he’s waking up 2x a night to feed for like a week then one night he’s up every hour, it’s just his way of increasing your milk for his growth spurt.

Put visitors to work: When people visit they want to be helpful, put them to work with getting you food, cleaning up, doing laundry so that you can rest with the baby. It really helps.

Emotional rollercoaster: Don’t get freaked out if you get really emotional when your milk comes in on day 3 or 4 (I was a train wreck). It is just your hormones changing. It is easier to deal with if you know it’s going to happen. I had no idea and my husband was all, “now tara this can happen when your milk comes in” even though he was telling me that I still felt crazy in my head. Your tired, you feel insane, but know that it will pass. So will the uncomfortable engorged boobs. For that, you can lay on your back and put a cold pack on your chest.

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Plugged duct: This sucked. Your boob gets all hard and it hurts so bad. Try to avoid them by not wearing binding stuff around your breasts. Also feel your breasts after or during feeding and see if there are any hard lumps, if there is try to massage it while feeding. Always massage in a circular motion. Also, if you suspect you have a clog; 1. Soak in a warm tub or just soak your boob in a bowl of warm water, or use a moist heating pad. 2. Get plenty of rest and do the massage thing. 3. Try to feed a lot on the clogged breast and get the baby’s lower jaw where the clog is. 4. Try to “empty” the breast at every feeding. 5. Try putting a cabbage leaf on the clogged area under your bra and just let it wilt there a few hours. I don’t know why but it helps. Don’t use the cabbage leaves too long, they are also used to decrease milk supply

Posture and comfort: Use a footstool and a pillow behind your back so you don’t strain your muscles when you are sitting up. Put a pillow behind your back when you are lying down, and a pillow between your knees too.Fold a baby blanket and lay it across the area between your body and the boppy pillow so the baby doesn’t fall in. once the baby gets bigger you don’t need to do this but in the beginning it helps.Don’t feel silly if you have to set up a whole special place to breastfeed at first. I had a “throne” set up on the couch with pillows every where, the boppy, a footstool… breastfeeding is challenging in the begining, it was for me (still is) and anything you have to do to get it to work is OK.

Alignment: Make sure the baby is aligned right. The ear, shoulder and hip should all be in a row. Both your and the baby’s tummy should be touching. When lying on your side, you don’t want the baby on his back with his head turned toward you; line him up on his side also. This helps the latch and the suck. I had it all wrong in the beginning, getting the alignment right really helped.

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Thanks Tara!
Danish Wool breast pads: Really help to avoid sore nipples or make them feel better. They have 2 kinds, ekstra and regular. The ekstra are double layered if you leak a lot. I do, and even through them! But I found if you just put a disposable one behind the wool one, it catches any leaks. Any other breast pad made my nipples really sore. The lanolin in the wool is what helps with the soreness. It’s the same idea as the stuff in the tube: Lansinoh brand lanolin. Also the wool pads don’t smell bad after they catch the leaks. If you don’t leak they still help with the soreness.

Lansinoh brand lanolin: Make sure if it’s not this brand it’s hypoallergenic and doesn’t have any crap in it and you don’t have to worry about wiping off before feeding the baby. Lather it on in the first weeks, it really helps.

Sleep Bra/Sleep wear: Get a night time sleep bra to hold the pads on or some kind of night gown or shirt that holds pads on. You might be lucky and not leak but you should still have one thing handy for the beginning in case you are. I didn’t get a nursing bra before I had Rowan and it was like sleeping in a water park, I had no way to hold the pads on, it was kind of a mess. Make sure the bra is not too snug. When you are too compressed you can get a plugged duct or a breast infection. Also avoid underwire bras if possible, or limit your time in them. Motherwear has bras that are cheap. And there’s a store in Manhattan that’s good, they measure you and help you find a bra. I personally have been very uncomfortable in my bras and clothes. I have been wearing a zip up sweatshirt and a sleep bra so I am on the hunt for better stuff. I have some v-neck nursing shirts that I can pull aside; these are somewhat comfortable but kind of revealing and do nothing for keeping me warm. If you wear a button or snap shirt you can undo it from the bottom instead of the top so you have more coverage. Most people I know say they just wear regular clothes and pull them up. I don’t like all the shirt under my armpit, I feel like I have an armpit wedgie. Since I wrote that I’ve solved my problem. The best bra I’ve found is by Bravado and Boob Design shirts, they have discreet openings and they keep your chest and stomach warm. The only place to get them in U.S. is at the upper breast side and online at Milkface, a Canadian company. I am much more comfortable now that I have a Bravado bra and Boob shirt.

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More information can be found here:

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