I admit, it’s embarrassing to make the noise, and I was embarrassed for our birth-education teacher, Vicki, when she performed it in class. But it was the single most important thing that occured during my labor. It reassured me that my body was getting ready and capable of birthing a baby naturally.
My labor had already gone on for 20+ hours, and I wasn’t much more than 5 centimeters dilated (although I was fully effaced, which is often overlooked). With each passing hour, everyone, except for my husband and doula, including me, was steadily losing confidence that I was strong enough to deliver my baby naturally.
We felt very prepared for birth. My husband and I are both researchers by profession, so we had read all the books, watched a lot of birth videos, taken birth classes and felt comfortable with the hospital and midwife practice we had chosen. What I didn’t expect was that my midwife would be busy with another patient who had to have an emergency c-section. Her backup was a hospital doctor I had never met and who was clearly not supportive of natural childbirth. All this happened in the throes of a very long labor that had left me weakened and feeling unconfident, scared and vulnerable. I felt like I was slowly succumbing to the doctor’s pressure on getting epidural, pitocin and the possibility of c-section. It is very difficult to continue with a natural (I chose to do unmedicated) birth if the staff is not supportive. When my midwife came in to introduce me to the new doctor, my labor pretty much shut down.
Women who are in labor make a very characteristic moaning sound, as if they are half delirious. I was sitting upright on the toilet moaning, feeling sorry for myself. when I started to notice an involuntary guttural sound punctuating the end of each moan. This pushing sound is what Vicki heard, time and again, during the many births she attended. It’s a signal to her, she told us, that a woman is getting ready to push the baby out. “Your body knows it’s time, whether or not you do,” she said.
Play this recording of my silly attempt to recreate the moan and the push noise!
There I was on the toilet. At first the noise was faint, and I didn’t really notice it. But with every contraction it got a little stronger. I remember telling everyone,”Wait! I’m making that pushy noise!”
Whether it was true or not, I felt like all talk of a c-section ended. My body had taken so long to dilate that I thought the end would never come (or the begining, depending on how you look at it!), yet here I was making the pushy-noise that seemed so ridiculous in class.
Active and intense labor followed for maybe another hour before my son was born. But making the noise alone was enough to re-assure me I was built for birth. How lucky I was that Vicky was observant enough to pick up on this sublte and overlooked clue.
Did you make the pushy noise? Or was there something else that gave you confidence to have a natural childbirth? Let us know. Leave a comment. It is valuable information for many women.
Thanks
February 12th, 2008 at 2:36 pm
I imagined myself opening up. I opened up everything, including my mouth and I would chant ‘open’ as I worked through contractions. I used a lot of visualization and pictures things slowing moving or peeling away or flowing. I made it to 7 cm this way. I, unfortunately, came minutes away from having a c-section so I was obligated to get an epidural. Home births are rare in France (it is not covered by social security) so we chose a maternity renowned for it’s natural births. They let me go a long, long time (20+ hours too) without anything even though they were concerned about the baby’s heart rate. I am sure I could have done the whole thing natural but I was getting weak and gave in to their concern. They shaved me and got me ready for the c-section but luckily, at the very last minute while I was spread out on the operating table, the doctor suggested that we check on the baby one more time. I had completely dilated and the baby was on his way out so I had a vaginal labor after all! It was pretty exciting. It took me a long time to get over the fact that I had an epidural but I feel even more empowered not to have it the next time!