Welcome, Carnival of Breastfeeding readers! The topic for this carnival is “Beginnings and endings”. My post is about the process of weaning a toddler.
I found myself wondering, after reading Tara’s post, Weaning a toddler while pregnant, how many women need advice like this? What percentage of women are still breastfeeding a toddler and what percentage of those toddler nursing moms are willing to endure the pain of nursing, due to sore nipples from pregnancy, in order to continue breastfeeding? I would guess very few.
When my son was nearing a year, friends and family started asking me how long I planned to nurse. They also tried to convince me that my son didn’t need the breastmilk anymore. A very good friend of mine even told me that I had to “cut the cord” and that breastfeeding “had no nutritional value” after a year. The funny thing is that at one point of my life (prior to having a child) I believed that.
It is true that breastmilk comprises less of a baby’s overall diet as it grows and begins to eat a variety of foods, but it is certainly not true that breastmilk loses its nutritional value.
“Breast milk continues to provide substantial amounts of key nutrients well beyond the first year of life, especially protein, fat, and most vitamins.” (Dewey 2001)
Kellymom put out a fantastic fact sheet about the value of
extended breastfeeding, including information on nutritional value, and there is also a list of references if you would like to read the the actual studies.
Now my son is two, and I am breastfeeding once a day, just at nap time. For us, the best way to get down to one nursing session a day was to have my husband take over putting our son to bed, reading him a lot of good books, and always having a sippy cup full of water ready. We also found that just talking to our toddler about when he can and can’t nurse was also very helpful to him.
I would tell him that we were not going to nurse as much any more and that he could nurse at nap time, but not at bed time. So at night when he asked to nurse I would say (in a very upbeat and confident manner) “we already nursed today, you can nurse tomorrow at nap”. He seemed surprisingly agreeable for the most part. Although there were definitely times where it was hard to “stick to my guns” and not nurse him. Occasional tears were shed. The first few days were the toughest.
As a first-time mother, I am also learning the importance of consistency. I tried to night wean several times when he was about one and a half. But I was not always consistent about it. In general, the inconsistencies left him confused and frustrated more than anything. Now I make more of an effort to be consistent and I see that he can adjust much better when I do.
I would like to stop nursing completely soon, although I find it very difficult to just “let go“. I keep changing my mind about whether or not we are ready to completely wean… It has been such a wonderful bond between us. I am also concerned that my son will stop napping altogether if I do wean. He naps 2-3 hours a day and this time has become very precious to me as I am trying to finish my doctorate degree. Friends tell me he will wean when he is ready. I am not so sure- but have vowed to wean when I get pregnant again. Hopefully sooner than later!
Since writing this post I have completely weaned my toddler. Read the “Pretending to nurse… to wean” post here.
Be sure to read the other bloggers posts.
Badass Dad writes about his experience as a breastfeeding father.
Naturemoms Breastfed three children and reviews a book about breastfeeding.
Adventures of Pip and Squeak Breastfeeding an infant and weaning a toddler.
Breastfeeding Mums Reflects on her time as a breastfeeding mother of three.
A mama Knows Breast Deals with a low milk supply.
Motherwear Breastfeeding Blog Gently encourages weaning.
Crunchy Domestic Goddess Inauspicious breastfeeding beginnings.
blog.reidelizabeth Found support in La Leche League, a lactation consultant and family and resisted supplementing her breast milk.
Breastfeeding 123 It’s about weaning during pregnancy.
January 27th, 2008 at 11:29 pm
Having just weaned a toddler a few weeks ago I can relate to your article. It was so hard to let it go for me as well. I was pregnant when we weaned and I felt like for my daughter that was what we needed to do. Best of luck deciding when to be done for good. In the meantime, enjoy it. I really miss it at times.
January 28th, 2008 at 4:40 pm
Thanks for sharing your story! I’m currently breastfeeding my 2 year old (who I said I would nurse until 1) and feeling like I would like to stop soon too. We only nurse in the morning when he wakes up and it is oh-so-nice to have that extra time in bed for everyone! I just can’t let it go and it really doesn’t impact our lives much at all. The transition to 1x day went very easily but it took a long time. That wasn’t something I expected - I feel as if we started to talk about weaning with our son at least a year before it happened. And it did happen - and is happening - just so slow!
My husband and I are going out of town for our first romantic weekend away since Felix was born so that will mean two mornings without nursing. He has done this before but only because I’ve left in the morning before he woke up. I hope it will go ok! (I am so impressed with my body because I always have milk.) I’m nervous and excited all at the same time
January 29th, 2008 at 3:32 pm
good advice, thanks for writing about it. i especially like that you engage your son in conversation, explaining to him why you won’t nurse at that moment. he may not understand all of it, but it’s good practice nonetheless!
January 30th, 2008 at 5:36 am
I think your attitude is a good one. My daughter (now 3) still falls asleep nursing most nights and I tried to break her of that at one point but I just wanted to cry with her and it wasn’t successful. My husband and I are going away in May for a few days. We’ll have to see if she still wants to nurse when I get back.