Welcome Carnival-of-Breastfeeding readers! This is my first post for the carnival and I do hope you enjoy it and the rest of the site. Check out the other carnival entries at the end of the post!
Here are my thoughts on breastfeeding and sleep…
When our son was an infant he slept in a bassinet next to my husband’s side of the bed. I couldn’t have him too near to me because his every move and squeak would rouse me from my sleep, heart racing. That is, if I was lucky enough to be asleep. For much of the night, I would lay awake, waiting for the next breastfeeding session.
When he grew older, we assembled his crib and placed it at the foot of our bed. He spent a few nights in it, until I read Dr. Sears’s The Baby Sleep Book (see side bar). The book convinced me the best place for my son to sleep was between his parents. Sears makes many convincing arguments as to why your kid should sleep next to you: breastfeeding is more comfortable and easier to do, baby will sleep better, SIDS risk is lower, etc. So I lifted my beautifully sleeping child out of his crib, which we started using to store clothes and blankets.
If I wore earplugs, I could block out his sweet little noises and actually get some sleep. Breastfeeding was easy. He would just fuss a little, find my breast and then we could both go back to sleep. However, it wasn’t until he was 3 months old that I could actually lay down and nurse him. Before that time, we didn’t line up very well, which made it painful to nurse. For the most part, this sleeping arrangement worked out well for us. My husband and I enjoy cuddling up next to him at night, quietly taking turns mimicking the funny things he said during the day. There have been times, however, when the “co-sleeping†arrangement breaks down and none of us get enough rest at night.
We’ve tried to end night nursing a few times with the hopes of all sleeping better, but haven’t yet succeeded. The first time, it took about three nights of our son sleeping only with my husband before he could get himself back to sleep after waking up. He’d cry less and less each time (meanwhile, I had barricaded myself in the second bedroom). I can still feel that joy of waking up one morning, realizing I had slept through the night. “I feel great!†I said to my husband. “Isn’t it wonderful to be you,†he said grumpily, between espressos. The euphoria didn’t last long, however, because the little one fell sick with the flu a week later, and the most comforting thing I could do for him was to nurse on demand. Each time we try to break his night habit, something sets us back—illness, irritability from shots, or teeth breaking through.
Perhaps sleep will come to us when our son graduates to his own room? Who knows. Some people (read: our parents) tell us, “You’ll never get him out of your bed!â€
Good thing we bought a king-sized mattress.
For more great posts on this topic, please visit the other carnival participants: www.breastfeedingmums.typepad.com
mamasmagic.blogspot.com
crunchydomesticgoddess.com
www.veggieway.blogspot.com
www.jodimeisner.blogspot.com
www.breastfeeding123.com
thelactivist.blogspot.com
September 17th, 2007 at 12:19 pm
[...] Nicole at Leche, Baby! wrote about her discovery of the Dr. Sears’ The Baby Sleep Book and co-sleeping [...]
September 17th, 2007 at 1:39 pm
It sounds like you’ll also need the No-cry sleep solution!
September 17th, 2007 at 2:01 pm
Eventually, one day we (we, parents) will sleep through the night, won’t we
September 17th, 2007 at 2:42 pm
This is such a sweet post - I can really relate to the mattress thing - we opted for a super kingsize when we found all three of our kids in our bed after our last baby was born! (Our daughters, who had been sleeping in their own beds decided they just had to see their baby brother whatever time of the night it was!)Thankfully there’s only one still between us these days
but oh how I long for the day when it’s just the two of us again!
September 17th, 2007 at 4:17 pm
[...] ~ BreastfeedingMums talks about the sleep advantages of breastfeeding over formula-feeding. ~ Mama’s Magic writes about being “So Tired” and considering the end of co-sleeping. ~ The Motherwear Breastfeeding Blog sings the praises of the side-lying position for breastfeeding. ~ Hathor the Cowgoddess shares a comic on the family bed. (Note that while it’s safe for a toddler to sleep next to a sibling, an infant should not sleep next to an older child, only next to his parents.) ~ Leche, Baby! writes about the process of night-weaning. ~ Veggie Way writes about co-sleeping and letting her baby sleep where she wants. ~ Crunchy Domestic Goddess needs co-sleeping for sanity. ~ Life with Twins writes about her use of crying-it-out. breastfeeding, carnival, lactation, mothering, sleepShare This Related StoriesSleep, Glorious SleepGetting Your Child to Sleep through the NightUpdate on Nursing through a Child’s IllnessAnswer Me ThisSubmit Your Story on Breastfeeding and Sleep [...]
September 17th, 2007 at 4:32 pm
We went through lots of false starts at night-weaning too. I also found ear plugs to be extremely helpful (not to block out any crying, which it didn’t, but to block out all other noises and soothe myself with the sound of my own heartbeat!)
September 17th, 2007 at 10:02 pm
Oh, I sympathize!!! I too sometimes feel like I spend most of the night just waiting for the next nursing session. I also second the recommendation for No-Cry Sleep Solution. When we were ready to transition our son to his own crib (our daughter is still there) the book was invaluable. It also has some good info that is compatible with cosleeping.
Good luck to you!!!
September 17th, 2007 at 10:06 pm
i’m so glad to come across your blog via the carnival.
i know it’s hard when you are in the thick of it, but i always try to remind myself that this phase is really such a short amount of time in the grand scheme of things. and we all will sleep well again - someday.
we still enjoy sharing a bedroom with our daughter (age 3) as well as our son (nearly 10 mos). my husband, me and our son are in a king-size bed and our daughter is in a twin-sized bed next to ours. it works for us for now and that’s all that matters.
amy
September 18th, 2007 at 3:43 am
[...] Tanya at The Motherwear Breastfeeding Blog: Breastfeeding and sleep Isil at Veggie Way: Breastfeeding and sleep Jen at Mama’s Magic: So Tired Sinead at Breastfeeding Mums Blog: Sleep, Oh Sleep! Wherefore Art Thou, Sleep? Amy at Crunchy Domestic Goddess: Co-sleeping for Sanity Angela at Breastfeeding123: Why Sleep Training Makes Me Want to Cry Jodi at Life with Twins: Breastfeeding and sleep Nicole at Leche, Baby: Breastfeeding and sleep Hathor the Cow Goddess: The Family Bed The Lactivist: To sleep, perchance to dream Andi at Mama knows Breast: Breastfeeding and Sleep [...]
September 19th, 2007 at 5:43 pm
Hey There, I can totally relate. My 21 month old nurslings still co-sleep and night-nurse. We have the king sized bed and DH is regalated to the guest room. Some nights it kills me and other nights I love it. I’m planning on trying again to nightwean when they are 2 (don’t tell them, they’ll come up with a way to dissuade me!!)
Mom to Maya/Thomas 21 months.
November 21st, 2007 at 3:28 pm
There is light at the end of the tunnel. I never would have thought my son would leave our bed. We still invite him in or he’ll ask to camp with us on occasion. He is a very well adjusted 7 1/2 year old. He stopped night nursing after 2 1/2 years and stopped nursing all together at 4 years old (by then he only nursed 5 minutes in morning and 5 minutes before bed). He moved into his own room at around 6 years old. I made the mistake to allow him to cry it out for a week when he was 8 months old. It seriously back fired. With my daughter she was far less demanding. She has slept in her own bed since 6-8 weeks old. She did well in a bassinet in our room only waking to nurse short periods. She has been in her own bedroom since 1 1/2 and does not night nurse at all and hasn’t since she was about that same age. I could soothe her and lay her back. She was fine with me not nursing her. She just needed a few minutes of rocking and a couple of lullabies sung to her. She’s 2 now. I think a lot of it has to do with her less demanding personality. She’s just an easier child overall. I recommend with weaning from night nursing to switch to a bottle or sippy cup of water. This has worked wonders for both of my kidos. It takes the place of mom if they truly are thirsty or want to suckle.